Wild Horses
by Ian Shinra
Summary: A woman from Vincent's life reflects on his life, and how much she misses him.


Wild Horses  
  
Ian Tully  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy or the characters. The song Wild Horses is by the Flying Burrito Brothers. PG13 for quite a bit of angst.   
  
  
I remember when you were young Vincent, and the sun shone upon you and you danced in the dewspeckled grass, in an age of innocence. I remember your neivity, your shy wonder at the world, your old playamates, their names stolen from your heart by years of pain and torture. I remember kissing you Vincent, and turning of the bedroom light. I remember reading to you, you with your big, inquistive eyes.   
  
~Childhood living is easy to do~  
  
You were young once Vincent, and you were a good kid, and a smart one too. All of these years you've been robbed of, memories that probably sustained you, in your darkest hours, until you forced them from you beseiged mind. You were so beautiful and free Vincent, before the squall.  
  
~The things that you wanted, I bought them for you~  
  
I wonder if you ever forgot me Vincent. I remember you leaving, a stong young man, and joining Shinra. It seemed fine to me, you were smart, and strong, and quite popular with the ladies too if I remember. You were always the shy one, but deep down inside you were ambitious too, very driven at times. You had an inner fire, but like the dawn, it arose in incriments, slowly revealing your true majesty and power.   
  
~Graceless lady, you know who I am~  
  
For awhile you would send me postcards, telling me of your adventures, your new friends, your life. Rising quickly through the ranks, you wowed the higher ups. Then I remember hearing about you joining the Turks. Now I knew nothing about them, except they were the elite at Shinra, so at that point I thought you had made it. You had reached your dreams. But, of course, fate is never so kind.  
  
~You know I can't let you, slide from my hand~  
  
No, fate is kind to some...but not to you. And what have you ever done to deserve it Vincent?  
  
~Wild horses couldn't drag me away~  
  
For a few weeks I got letters, everything seemed fine, my life though dull, still had purpose. Still had reason. I remember how much I wanted to see you, and how you said you missed me so much and that you loved me with all your heart. You never said your work was dangerous. You never said what the Turks really did. Or what Shinra really did. Did you ever know Vincent? Did you ever have any idea of the people you were working for?   
  
~I watched you suffer, a dull, aching pain~  
  
Of course Shinra covered up all the buisness of the Turks, so I could get no information on them. That was why I was so distraught when you stopped replying. I had everything ready, I was all prepared for you to come back, God Vincent, if only you knew what went through my heart, my mind, when I was left alone on those front steps, waiting all day for your arrival.  
  
~Now you've decided, to show me the same~  
  
If only you could've seen the tears that night.   
  
~No sweeping exits, or off stage lights~  
  
Naturally I was afraid, but I gave myself to the hope that you were only delayed due to work or buisness or some plausible circumstance. I hoped you'd write soon to let me know you were okay. It is these kinds of hopes that keep us alive.  
  
~Could make me feel bitter, or treat you unkind~  
  
And it is these kinds of hopes, that let us down so cruely.  
  
~Wild horses couldn't drag me away~  
  
Week passed, months, years. I sat on those steps, by the phone, my sorrow and hopelessness beyond all I can convey. Vincent where are you!? Why have you left me? I cannot live without you Vincent, you make my life complete. You are all the cliches. The loving man, who makes the woman so happy, fills her life. And I am all the cliches. The broken, hopeless woman, who cries by the hours, who calls out your name. It is like a nightmare play, something I have seen in books and stories, time and again. It is only too true.  
  
~I know I dreamed you, a sin and a lie~  
  
Where are the days when you played in the dewspeckled grass, under the sun of innocence, in the dawn of our lives? I can only remember back that far, your shining youth, you happy, loving eyes. I have sought unsucessfully for years to obtain any information regarding your dissappearnce. Shinra has said that you have died. They give me neither circumstances nor place of death. They tell me nothing. They have destroyed your existance...but they have not destroyed my heart. I will find you, for I know, as no one else could, that you are still alive. I feel it in my heart Vincent.  
  
~I had my freedom, but I don't have much time~  
  
While I still live I will still search. I do know now what the Turks really were, and this puts me in danger. I have devoted my life to finding you, and given up whatever ambitions I once had. Before I die, I only wish to hear your voice once more. I have prayed to God that it should be so, but I fear he no longer hears my pleas. Whatever I have done, I have paid for it.   
  
~Faith has been broken, tears must be cried~  
  
Someday we will be reunited Vincent. Someday I swear it. Shinra cannot hide your story forever. I hear revolution in the slums. AVALANCHE has come to the forefront of a growing tide of resentment towards Shinra. I feel it in the air, something big is coming, though I may not live to see it.  
  
~Lets do some living, after we die~  
  
Please don't ever forget me Vincent. Whatever they have done to you, they will pay. I believe that Shinra is responsible for your death, or at least your dissappearence. They say hell hath no fury like a woman. They know not of fury, my fury, my anguish, my reslove, pent up inside me for all these years, my will is unbroken, the longing and grief is now a longing for revenge, for your life, and for mine.  
  
~Wild horses couldn't drag me away~  
  
I love you Vincent.  
Love, Mom.  
  
~Wild, wild horses, we'll ride them someday~ 


End file.
